Only Some Balls are Made of Glass

Last summer I worked as an intern for Massachussetts General Hospital developing a selection protocol for a new home hospital program. The attending physician of the team of Nurse Practitioners and Physicians Assistants is a close mentor and friend of mine, Dr. Ryan Thompson. In a conversation with me on the top floor of the hospital he said, " I need to order some flowers...Today is my anniversary and I can't forget that..." He then looked me in the eyes and said, " Christian, you'll have a lot of balls to balance in the future, you'll have work, a wife, kids and other responsibilities...remember that only a couple are made of glass..." This has had a profound impact on my life decisions especially as I have worked to be a well qualified applicant for medical school.

This past year and semester has been absolutely the hardest year of my life. Not only did I have to take classes online with the out break COVID-19 during these past months but I was in the some of my final upper division biochemistry classes. I am a student at Utah State University and I am majoring in biochemistry. At Utah State University we have an upper division biochemistry series that goes the full year. It focuses on a broad knowledge of biochemical pathways from photosynthesis to metabolism of carbohydrates and everything in between. It was easily the hardest courses series I have taken in my academic career. It was a mix of rote memorization and fluency in scientific communication. It stretched me in every area of my life.

Another factor that has made this a year of stretching and growth is my relationship with my now fiancé Emily. We started dating last August and it has been amazing. Our relationship has been a stabilizing factor in my life. She helps me see different perspectives and ideas. She has helped me be a kinder person. Our relationship is definitely a glass ball in the larger scheme of balancing my life. It has been a totally new space for me. I think that a lot of us applying for medical school push off relationships because we have so many other responsibilities. While we do have many responsibilities, for me, some things take precedent. The first of those things is my relationships with my family and Emily. Those are vitally important to me. I have thought many long nights about the value of my life with medicine and without a family. I realized for me that to be the best doctor I possibly could be I needed the support system of a loving wife and family. I didn't want to come home to a large open house with all the material things that a successful medical practice lends. I wanted to come home to my family. That is one of the major reasons that these semesters have been so difficult, I have found a second priority in my life equal to the demands of medicine, my relationship with Emily. 

What have I learned? First, when you are looking for a future partner you can't water down your goals and aspirations for the future. When Emily and I first started dating, I shared my goals with her and she came to some of the events that were hosted by the pre-medical club at Utah State University. She got a strong look at the future life of a doctor. It helped us have discussions about the future and as we talked about our goals for life she was and still is so supportive. We were able to discuss rotations in medical school, on-call nights, moving for medical school and much more. As I shared my full goals, I gained so much trust for her because she stood by and supported my dreams. Now another side to this is I have had to adjust mu dreams a little. Emily and I have discussed schools and areas we would like to live in and this has shifted my list of medical schools I am planning on applying to just a little bit. But that has been fine, I would gladly shift my schools again to have her full faith and support.

Second, It's fine to not eat, drink and sleep medicine. You can decompress. You should relax and Emily has reminded me to do that. It hasn't been easy to let myself decompress, but I definitely have found that as I decompress I am able to work harder and smarter on my studies and my other pursuits. After hard tests and long nights of studying, relaxing to watch a movie or to sit and chat has been so wonderful. It has made the hardest weeks bearable.

Finally, a supportive romantic relationship is a powerful strength when things get tough. In the hardest parts of my semester, when I didn't think I was going to rise above and succeed Emily supported me. She had faith in me when I didn't have faith in myself and that is worth more to me than the world. I have been so lucky and blessed to have Emily join me in this crazy journey. Although it has not been easy, it has been worth it.

So in short, if you're wondering about having a relationship while you prepare for medical school. If you're thinking about taking a relationship to the next level. I would say do it. The experience is worth it. Allow yourself to grow and your dreams to grow with you.

I hope this finds you all well!

- Christian